An awesome vacation!!

Welcome to Colorado ... oh, yes, there's a story behind the Hershey's chocolate bar! We have stayed with Geof and Anjila Stimack many times (they live in Arvada) and the typical way to end an evening at their home was a cup of tea and a piece of chocolate. Geof thought they didn't have any -- but Anjila knew where the stash was and found it quickly!!

The next morning found us on our way to Glenwood Springs -- what an awesome place to spend a couple days. There is a mineral pool there that is 104 degrees. (You can only stay in it for 10 minutes at a time -- then you can go to the larger -- LARGE -- pool to cool off!)

In Glenwood Springs, we decided to take in local fare for our evening meal! Probably not the wisest choice! Poor Rachel -- she asked for coke -- they were out so they offered her Dr. Pepper and it didn't even remotely taste like Dr. Pepper so they traded it out for iced tea. I think she was afraid that 3 times would not be a charm so settled for the tea! Her face reflects what she thought of it all!

An awesome place in Glenwood Springs for ice cream! Banana nut! The best!

A great place for Sunday morning devotions!

The Hot Springs

Headed back towards Denver -- Rachel and Allen live off of Exit 123 on I-70 in Indiana -- here we saw an Exit 123 on I-70 in Colorado ... hmmm ... doesn't look like the same one!

Work day in the middle of the week!

What a neat place to have lunch! Geof and Rachel -- okay, they weren't the only ones having lunch but the only ones in the photo! lol!

Don't you love it when the photos are out of order and I don't take the time to rearrange them (which is so simple, I know!) This is Eisenhower Tunnel!

Geof read to us from "The Mountains of Noah" ...

I couldn't find this particular rest area on the way out to Glenwood Springs but did on the way back!

Lake Dillon ... what a beautiful spot. Bob and I have spent many hours walking along the path you can see near the lake.

Had to take Rachel to Casa Bonita -- a famous Mexican restaurant with lots of great entertainment!

We visited Focus on the Family -- spent several hours there and even met an old friend, Kathleen Waggoner who I hadn't seen in probably 40+ years!!

Below -- our dear friends Jan Merrill and Dennis Nawrocki. Dennis is the father of Mike Nawrocki, the co-creator of Veggie Tales and the voice of "Larry Boy"!

And then off to Rocky Mountain National Park -- what a neat drive -- a little scary at times since there are no guard rails most of the way and it is just a two lane road and quite a ways down the side!

What a view -- and below, it's time to say "good-bye" but what a great "home away from home" for a week! Thanks so much!!

41 Years of Irreconcilable Differences!

41 years .. wow, wasn’t it just yesterday that one of my friends was telling me, “We are going over to a campmeeting to see Bob Bedford .. do you want to come along?” I declined and I think I even laughed at them. I couldn’t imagine girls flocking anywhere to see a guy! They all seemed to really like this “Bob” guy and from what I had heard, he liked lots of girls, too. Little did I know that some 44 years later, we would be celebrating our 41st wedding anniversary!

I’m always amazed at people who smile widely and say they have a perfect marriage. Makes me want to run and throw up somewhere because as Bob reminds me, if two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary!! Well, we are definitely both necessary if you consider that formula!! We qualify for the “Irreconcilable Differences” and love it! Because that is exactly what makes us complete.

It only took me about 40 years or so to figure that out! We are in the process of outlining a book that we are going to co-write on that very topic. That the very things we think are what pull us apart are what make us whole. And it’s all in God’s plan! Okay, so you think I’ve gone off the deep end .. you won’t be the first to think that and Bob probably heads up that list. He has shaken his head at me in wonderment many times over the years and probably asked, “What was I thinking?” Then again, I have probably done that, too … but wouldn’t trade anything for our lives together. J

It took me a long time to figure out that it was okay if we liked different foods … like one of my favorites my mother made while I was growing up, “Egg ala Golden Rod”! Bob looked at it, made a face and told me that would not probably ever be on his menu – and it hasn’t. What is it? Simply put, creamed eggs on toast with the cooked yolk sprinkled on top. Or good old fish sticks .. well, I’ll admit, that wasn’t the best choice we had but since my mother did not like fish (not sure she ever tried it) and wanted to make sure we had some in our diet, she chose fish sticks. I did actually like them … Bob couldn’t stand them. So strike that off the menu – except when he was away and then I could do like my mother did, fix all the things our husbands didn’t like!

He liked foods I had never heard of and some stuff I have never tried from down in Louisiana land .. crawdads? Forget it! I didn’t even care too much for shrimp creole but I do like catfish and he taught me how to love almost every other kind of seafood … well, almost every kind. We really liked the Calabash shrimp served at Winks Restaurant in Salisbury, NC. The best!! Oh, and Elaine Paul makes the best gumbo although I couldn’t begin to tell you all she puts into it!

So … I had to learn how to cook differently and for a while, felt a little intimidated by Bob’s mother who is an awesome cook. But, I came up with some pretty good dishes on my own and he loves those – the only problem, those are typically Sunday dinner fare – I just don’t like to have to figure out what to fix the rest of the week. Give me a crowd on Sundays and I love it. During the week, give me a bowl of cottage cheese and pineapple slices and I’m great – or breakfast for dinner! That’s a no-no for Bob – I love it, he thinks I’m odd! So, we just go to Denny’s from time to time to get that fix – my breakfast for dinner! And he looks at me with that raised eyebrow … and digs into his tilapia dinner (which, by the way, he has an awesome recipe he makes – for those weekday meals I don’t like to fix!)

Bob likes carefully thought out plans – I do too part of the time but as my kids can tell you, spontaneity is my life many times. I call them, “Do you want to run to the store?” “When?” “Now!” “Now? I’m not even dressed yet.” “Get ready, I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes!” And our vacations … let’s see how many places we can visit across the country, Bob tells us as I try to figure out where the closest beach is … give me a book and the sound of crashing waves and I’ll be happy for a week. Bob loves the beach … but to walk along at sunset. He can’t handle the sun – much more sensitive to the sun than I am so just about an hour and he’ll be sunburned. I could be out there all day and not be (don’t worry, I don’t do that!)

We have been almost everywhere across these United States – from all over the New England states to San Diego, California. We’ve taken three week trips out west where it was about 25 degrees in Yellowstone Park and our girls about froze running from our camper (which wasn’t modern enough for a bathroom) to the camp bathroom. Oh, I enjoyed those trips immensely, too … although I think I outdid myself when I thought it would be great to take a walk along the beach in one of the New England states. The girls have never forgiven me for that – okay, figuring distance isn’t my strength and somehow I seemed to forget that if we got somewhere we did have to walk back!!

I don’t like heights .. Bob loves them. He even got Teri to venture to the edge of the Grand Canyon and I wanted to go hide until they came back safely. I hid my eyes as we rode up the elevator at the Eifel Tower – Bob wanted to see everything on the way up. I felt relatively safe at the top since they had a lot of fencing. But, I was usually still pulling away and trying to pull him away – which frustrated him greatly!

I like activity and noise – Bob can take the quiet and be very comfortable. When there is hubbub in our house after a family dinner, you would find Bob sitting at his computer or taking a nap in our room after playing with the grandkids for a while. Me – I’m probably in the thick of things …
Bob thinks things through .. I have a tendency to act and then think although I have learned a lot in that area over the years. After Bob saying, “Didn’t you think about this before … “, I decided I really needed to take a little more thought. On the other hand, Bob has actually had many fun times following my lead … after he thought I was absolutely crazy!! He just wanted me to get the blame or credit for being the crazy one!

Our differences continue – I get freaked out by blood and injury – Bob takes it pretty much in stride. So, when Teri got her little finger cut or Sandi had a bicycle accident, Bob was the one to be with them at the hospital. We both knew it was better if I stayed with the other girls … he didn’t want to take care of another spazzed out female!

In Bob’s family, love was not necessarily expressed audibly. In my family, it was expressed often. That was another major adjustment for me and finally Bob had to simply say one day, “I am not like your dad.” I’m good with that now and Bob is much more expressive in his love for me and for our kids and grandkids. I did finally realize that I had a tendency to use my dad as a measuring stick – I think I was afraid, too, that Bob was using his mother when it came to cooking. J Now we use those differences in understanding others, too.

When we were growing up, my parents did their best to keep all of their disagreements private. And for the most part, I am glad for that and we worked hard to do that as well. They were so afraid that if they fussed at each other at all, we would have a tendency to not have as much respect for them or one above the other. But, there came a time when told them, “Okay, we know that life isn’t always perfect. It’s okay for you to have differences. It helps us to know how to deal with differences, too.” They did it with respect although in their later years, they fussed over little things and it became quite amusing to us .. and frustrating to them! If we received a call from my mother saying, “I’m in the laundry room” (at their independent living facility), we knew something had happened with Dad and she wasn’t sure how to handle it. We were becoming a parent to our parents and were praying for wisdom. They were married almost 62 years when my mother went on to heaven.

So while Bob and I are very different even in raising children, we did our best to discuss those issues in private. This is an area that I would ‘redo’ if I could .. having four girls, I understood them better or so I thought. So I had a tendency to be the “go between” with them and Bob. I was sure he didn’t understand them at all .. he thought I was too easy on them. Hindsight is 20/20 but I am glad that the girls have used our experience as they raise their children and we can all talk about it openly. Instead of using those differences, we abused those differences during those years. Yet, the girls will come to us and thank us for various things about how we raised them and I wonder, “Are we talking about the same thing?” In the midst of it all, God worked in all of our lives.

Our irreconcilable differences have worked well in ministry – take ice breakers at retreats, for instance. If you know Bob, he’s not one to make an absolute fool out of himself – except for his alter ego, Silas! Now when Silas comes on the scene, life is never the same. But, on the whole, it is me who is willing to act like an idiot (okay, so it comes naturally) to get people acquainted with each other. Bob would usually put a retreat program together and then tell me to add the ‘fun’ stuff. It actually took me many years to relax enough to do this in front of him. I always thought he would rethink his wedding vows and wonder what in the world had he gotten himself into! Sometimes I thought he was a little too serious at the moment and needed some levity. Oh, I’ve even directed Sunday School choruses in the middle of worship times at campmeetings. “Everyone on your feet! Let’s do the motions to these!” Bob would go to the piano and we’d have a great time – the people sang and did the motions and when they were done .. we were usually laughing hysterically but yet in a worshipful mood. (Laughter and worship? Yes, they can go together well!)

Expressing emotions – we are completely opposite in that area. I operated on emotions for many years and just couldn’t understand that Bob didn’t. When he wasn’t sensitive enough, I thought he was not caring enough. Little did I know that it was the constancy of his caring in his actions that would carry us through some tough times when my roller coaster of emotions might have derailed our relationship completely. When he told me once that he loved me because he had made a choice of the will to love, I was offended. Now I understand!

On the other hand, my intuition (typically not a strength in men although sometimes) was something he learned to listen to. Sometimes he would look at me like I might have come from outer space when I shared something I ‘sensed’, but when a few days later he found that I was correct in my assessment, he perked up his ears when I shared my concern. Now, I’ll admit, there have been times when I was a little paranoid but we both usually recognized those times.

Understanding women … most guys will typically laugh when you say those two words together and we have had our share of challenges in that area. However, I knew we had come a very long way in that area when I heard Bob tell how he had counseled a guy to listen to his wife’s “heart” … more than even the words. Wow! He also mentioned that in a sermon he prepared years ago about listening to our children’s hearts .. we had learned the hard way!

Over the past couple years, life has been more of a challenge .. but it has given us time to talk through some of these things and realize that there are things that matter and there are things that don’t. Much of what we think is important when it comes to differences doesn’t really matter in the big picture. Oh, there must be a solid foundation in our relationships but the differences are what make us unique … and make us a complete relationship.

One of the special times at weddings is the unity candle. For many years, I thought it was awesome that the two candles would join together and make one and then the individual candle would be blown out. What an awesome thought … but then again, maybe not. For while indeed we are “one”, we also bring some very big differences .. some strengths, some weaknesses … but when we are committed to God, he uses our irreconcilable differences to make us complete. So, I’ll admit, I like it when the candles are left lit after lighting the one in the middle. We don’t lose our identity in our marriage – we use our differences to make us complete.

So, as we celebrate our 41st anniversary and wonder where the years have gone and yet sometimes feel like we have been married forever, I am indeed blessed. Do we still have differences? Oh my, yes! Of course … but I don’t think I’m going to try to mold him into the person I want him to be .. he needs to be who God wants him to be. When that happens, we are truly “one” together and “One” in Him.

My bridesmaids .. Linda Bedford Davis, Shirley Throne Fogleman (maid-of-honor), me, Marilyn Cook Darnell, Judy Patterson Miller; Flower girl, Crystal Fankhauser Lynch; Miniature bride, Rachel Boynton Southerland

What we won't do for our grandkids! Singing, "We're the pirates who don't anything ... "


Roxanne, me, Bob;
Sandi, Shonna, Teri

On top of the world -- Pike's Peak and you'll notice I'm safely away from the edge!!

What a delight it was this evening .. Susan and I met David and Linda Christian for dinner at Denny's in Locust Grove, GA . I met Linda at the LINDA Convention and we became friends quickly. What a blessing!

Sandi's 20 Year Reunion Smile Box Creation

Sandi is celebrating her birthday tomorrow but celebrated her 20 year high school graduation reunion a couple weeks ago. She put together the following Smilebox slide show which was shown on Friday night ... thought I would share it here.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Happy Birthday, Sandi!!

How well I remember when I found out I was pregnant … thrilled beyond words since we were beginning to wonder whether that might happen at all. While as you know the pregnancy was difficult at times, anything is worth the birth of a child!! Other moms had told me that you cannot drink anything during the delivery process and I had these visions of being so thirsty I couldn’t stand it .. but since the doctor chose to sedate me throughout much of the labor and delivery, I just remember one thing vividly.. someone asking me if I wanted a drink of juice! I was wide awake!! They immediately brought you to me … and our family became a family of four!!

You were shy during those first years hiding in the folds of my skirts so afraid to talk to anyone. Roxanne talked for you – she talked early and seemed to be able to translate what you wanted into words easily. I still love the relationship the two of you have had through the years! Unlike Roxanne and Teri, you didn’t want anyone looking at you .. and might burst into tears even when Dad looked at you. You were not anxious to go to school at all … and decided not to talk at all there, it seemed. (I know, hard to believe now! lol!) After some speech therapy, I’m sure the therapist was a little shocked at your comment, “It’s not that I can’t talk, I don’t want to!” Your stubbornness there has developed into determination over the years which has carried you through many ups and downs of life!

Fourth grade was to change your life – didn’t Mr. Bellich place a portable microphone system on your desk so he could hear your answers audibly? Little did we know that his input into your life that year would change your life forever. The election … you represented Ronald Reagan and launched a pretty successful campaign in your mock election at the school. Going from class to class, you learned to project your voice through that microphone as you answered campaign questions and I think your headquarters were set up at our house .. well, sort of. Since you were all of about 10 years old, I think your vice president had to hold down his ‘fort’ at his own home but I remember the phone lines buzzing all night as you watched the real life election.

You started directing birthday parties when we lived in Greenville PA … although I have a feeling you did it long before then, too, and we just didn’t recognize what you were doing. I still remember the Strawberry Shortcake birthday party on our porch. We laughed that you had Roxanne invite her friends since you were a loner of sorts – usually only having one or two close friends. What an awesome job you did .. little did we know that you were preparing for the future when you would direct many, much larger events!

I was always amazed at your intelligence .. you listened and learned. You were a great student .. like a walking encyclopedia .. wonder where you got that from. (Not too hard to figure out!) You read the newspapers and could take in lots of data quickly. I see that in Tyler now!

I remember you and Roxanne went off to Jamaica on a mission trip with other teens and adults. I was hesitant since you were my homebody but you did well except for the one time you called me and you were quite homesick. But, what a life changing experience that was, too. Funny stuff as well as serious … didn’t you get pushed off onto the floor while you were sleeping in the van?

Tim has been in your life for a long time … if I remember correctly, you were about 12 when you became interested in him more than just a friend. (Wasn’t that around the time of the Jamaica trip or shortly after?) Even though you were apart for two of the years we lived in Salisbury, he visited faithfully and it was very hard for me to let you go when you moved to Indiana following your graduation from high school. I think I knew I was saying ‘goodbye’ to life as it had been. Since you were the homebody, you were usually at my side much of the time and we made numerous trips to the library for books. I couldn’t imagine going to the library without you … now I take you to the library as a mom taking a mom getting books for her child (Tyler). Well, then again, many of the books are for you … don’t you read like 30 books a week at times? Along with all your other responsibilities.

Since Tim loved sports, you began to study just that .. more sports stats than I could imagine and you still look at me a little oddly when you start talking about a particular player and I say, “Who?” I enjoyed watching your enthusiasm when you followed Steve Allford when he played for IU. Your room was decorated with IU stuff and the teens of West Morris Street had a high ol’ time riding downtown around Monument Circle the year IU won. (They did win that year, right? Remember, I’m a sports challenged mom!)

I began to truly realize your abilities in organization, etc., when you handled all the housing for one of the large Bible Quiz Tournaments at West Morris Street. You may have been in your sophomore year in high school and worked for me there at the church when I was secretary / administrative assistant for Don and Iris Riggs. You took a list of 250 kids, found homes for them all, and coordinated them being picked up by their host families, brought back to the church, etc. I was in awe .. that wasn’t something that didn’t come natural to me but you had it down pat. That was just the beginning ….

From planning your own wedding to Tim to managing a bridal shop to directing weddings, to running youth camps etc., your skills in not just organization but wisdom in handling personality differences has always been something I have admired. When you had to handle difficult moms of brides and even working with difficult pastors, you found the words to calm the ruffled feathers and as you told them, “Remember, all that matters is at the end of the day, you are married.” And you would grab your trusty fanny pack which had everything from needles and thread to bandaids and the weddings would come off without a hitch – as far as everyone knew. You may have soothed a brides hurt feelings, quieted a difficult mother-in-law, exchanged out candles that wouldn’t light, or told a pastor when it was time to go and “did you know your microphone is on and everything you just said was heard by all”. In it all, you did a great job with grace and confidence. Oh, the stories you could tell!!

Motherhood was not in the cards it seemed, for years. But, I will never forget the Mother’s Day celebration where you gave Dad and me a card … when we read that we were going to be grandparents in December (although Tyler came November 22nd), my mind could hardly grasp it!! Thrilled beyond words .. and your sisters said you changed! We never did send in the video of you telling Roxanne with one sister on a phone and another one in front of her … the shriek when she said, “You’re pregnant” could almost be heard throughout our neighborhood! And what a special little guy Tyler has been … you have definitely proven yourself to be an awesome mom! Tyler always surprises you with his witty comebacks and we have all learned to look up something in the dictionary or online before discounting something he has told us. He’s usually been correct. Wonder where that came from … heredity, for sure!

Your abilities in leading the conference youth camp for the Free Methodist was awesome to watch. No one knows the hours you put into planning each year – from the facility to who was going to speak, workshops, counselors, coordinating teams, dealing with youth issues that most people never even know about .. on and on … each step was thought through and prayed over and when the youth finished camp changed spiritually, you knew that God had used you and Tim again!!

It’s exciting to see what God is doing through you and Tim this summer at Clearwater First Nazarene. To watch these young people grow spiritually is inspiring!! And I’m glad I get to be a part of it .. whether taking you somewhere (since you’re not a driver, thankfully .. lol!) or helping you finish up something on the computer. I am blessed by that.

These past couple years have been filled with changes and challenges .. but one constant has always been there … your consistency .. in your spiritual walk and in your commitment to Tim, to Tyler and to us. When I would hit a low point, you would walk me through it … giving me perspective which comes from the wisdom you inherited from your dad. Each of you girls has your own strengths and I am so glad they are different .. It’s what makes truly a family.

Thanks for being a wonderful daughter … loving, dependable, trustworthy, willing to stand up for what you feel is right … I am truly blessed that I am your mom!!

Bok Tower / Gardens

This little squirrel gave us a warm welcome (a little to close for the Marley, Regan and Bailey) to Bok Tower. What a neat place to spend an afternoon or a day .. or an evening. One of our first visits was back in 1991 when Bob and I went to hear a Christmas Concert of the carillon bells on Christmas Eve. The rest of our family had already traveled north and we were leaving the next day. Of course, it was quite a change to sit in fairly warm weather and not the typical snowy evening of the north!

Yesterday afternoon, Marley, Regan, Bailey & Rudy headed to Bok Tower / Gardens for a picnic lunch. Rudy slept through lunch but awoke in time to play some 'baseball' .. he's a good little pitcher!! We also got to hear the carillon bells while we were there! What a neat afternoon .. the photos speak for themselves!