"Now, what is your name?" That might be the first question my dad would ask those who were taking care of him at Glen Oaks. You see, he would tell them, a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (He was quoting Dale Carnegie and always give him the credit for that statement.) So, because of that, my dad really knew no strangers. It wasn't long after he learned their name that he also knew their children's names, etc. And he did not forget that information.
It is amazing how important it is to someone when the question is asked, "How is your daughter (name) doing?" The first answer was usually, "You remembered!" As my dad's eyesight began to dim, he learned the voices and associated the names with their voices. I would be there in the room with him and one of the staff at Glen Oaks would come in. Dad would listen for a moment and then say, "Is that ??" And almost always, it was. Then he would make sure he introduced me as his oldest daughter and then turn to me to share something about the person he was introducing. Oh, he always found out what was important to them and perhaps a prayer request.
Today, I listened to a tape of my dad. When we were cleaning out his room at Glen Oaks, I picked up a few tapes and one of them was entitled, "New Book Introduction" (3-15-05). I was fairly certain I knew what might be on the tape but also hopeful that it was my mother whose voice I would hear. But, it was Dad's instead. (Not that I am disappointed to hear Dad's voice -- I always enjoy that!) However, my mother had wanted us kids to write a book about our family.
We tried to remind her that we were just a normal family like anyone else and doubted that there would be much interest -- other than to other family members. She didn't seem to be too put off by that .. she was truly a "Stubborn Swede" at times. I also encouraged her to write the first couple chapters telling about her life growing up .. and also reminded her that I had some of that same "stubborn Swedish" blood flowing in my veins as well. So, if she wrote .. we would then write. She didn't finish those chapters before she went on to heaven.
But when I found the tape I mentioned, I was hopeful that it would be her voice. The writing on the outside of the tape was hers - but the voice was my dad's and while it was yet strong. He was writing the introduction. I listened as he described each of us children - and told about the day we were born, what we looked like and in his typical style, told how important each of us was. He didn't have to be reminded of our full name, our date of birth, our time of birth, our weight at birth ... oh, he could recite all of that easily! We might not remember quickly but Dad did!
Dad remembered all of our names in his prayer time. I was in their apartment at Berkshire several times during an evening (while visiting). He would let me know that I could go into the other room for a little while as he needed to talk to his heavenly Father. If I listened carefully, I would hear him share evey name in the family in prayer. I didn't want to intrude but I think there was a special comfort knowing that Mother and Dad carried us daily to the Father in prayer. If he knew of particular needs, he might mention those although I was careful not to listen to closely. We are a very close family but I was sure there were prayer requests shared with Dad and Grandpa that were for his ears only. And he didn't fail to pray for them.
I think the cutest story (and I think I have told this recently) about my dad and a 'name' happened on Thursday, September 17th. Little did I know that just 2 weeks later, Dad would be making his heavenly entrance! We sat together in the library at Glen Oaks. Some of Wayne States' family was there, too, as well as John and Paula Maynard, longtime family friends of the States family and of our family as well.
I introduced Paula to my dad and as usual, he made sure he understood her name clearly .. and again, explained how important a person's name is. We sat and talked for a while and then it was time for Dad to head back to his room as I was going to leave. As Dad 'drove' his scooter passed Paula, who was sitting near the door, he said, "Bye, Rose." I thought .. "Okay, Dad has never failed in remembering a name -- at least, not that I can remember." But, I thought perhaps his mind was failing a little but still very puzzled. I was so taken back after Dad had made such a big deal about a person's name that I said, "Dad, her name isn't Rose" .. he didn't stop. He just smiled and said, 'I know!"
He was having fun as he had over the years. He had such a great sense of humor and if you had heard him preach, he always incorporated humor into his messages / sermons. About the time you had laughed until you cried, he brought a point home that had a great impact on us all! What a memory to have of his spark of humor coming out even though he didn't feel well. I can assure you that if my dad ever knew your name, he remembered who you were. And each person was important to him.
I want to keep that legacy going .. that I pay attention to people, that they know I care -- and that I will not forget their name. Okay .. please don't give me a test quite yet ... lol!!
.jpg)
