Okay, off and running again … not really but figuratively speaking ….
The next question in The Book for Bailey is:
Your grandfather proposed by ….
Wow, does that take me back in time!! If you remember from what I have already shared, we did not get to go on dates alone so it was difficult to have very private conversations unless they were over the phone. Obviously, a proposal is not at its best over the phone! On this particular evening, I remember that we were sitting in Bob’s car in the front lawn of the chaperone we loved to take with us – who fell asleep on a previous date. I can’t remember why we were alone in the car – if we were waiting on them to come out or what but I remember being so taken back at what Bob was sharing that I’m not sure I heard the whole statement prior to “The Question” … isn’t that awful? (My memory, that is!) But I do remember clearly him asking if I would like to make this permanent. Okay – here comes my all-time classic response -- “I guess so!” How’s that for a lame response. However, to explain my response, let me share that in my role as a daughter, I was an extremely compliant child. (Just ask my brother, Tim. As he shared at our dad’s funeral,
“Linda was the compliant one, I was the non-compliant one!”) It was hard for me to give a definitive answer easily. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so would give a vague answer to make sure the other person was okay with what I said. Evidently Bob was pretty sure that was a “Yes” on my part and we were now to the next level of our relationship.
I wish I could say that the road was always smooth but even back then, our personality differences gave us some challenges. And my parents weren’t totally sold on the idea that I was getting married – period – much less to Bob. Bob was quieter than most by nature so in church services that were not necessarily quiet, my parents weren’t quite sure where Bob fit in. It took some convincing and a few years into marriage before they were pretty convinced that we were a good match. Relatively speaking anyway ..
We were engaged for 14 months so that gave us plenty of time to get ready. I remember one day, a group of us girls (older teens) decided to go to Chicago to shop for material for bridesmaids’ dresses. We were not experienced Chicago drivers and at one point, our driver (who was probably the oldest – maybe around 20 and we thought that was old back then) brought the car to an almost complete stop on the interstate with the question, “Where do we go?” We yelled, “Anywhere, just move” … probably not exactly that but something similar!! Glad that wasn’t in today’s traffic!!!
My wedding dress … we didn’t have much money or budget to work with so you do what you have to do!! The material for my wedding dress cost $35 and there were so many pieces and parts that I was beginning to wonder if it would ever look like a dress. Oh, I missed an important part. My mother decided that we would make the dress in just 24 hours – a unique 24 hour bonding experience – bonding in putting the dress together more than bonding in our own relationship which I was blessed had always been good. (Not that we didn’t disagree on some issues and have some interesting discussions – but most of those came later, much later! Remember, I was the compliant one!)
I remember getting the dress cut out and the pieces spread out all over our living room floor!! We literally stayed up for 24 hours – the reason, I had an appointment the following day at Scott Studios for my bridal portrait! And since the dress wasn’t done yet and my mother was not going to cancel that appointment, we just worked ourselves silly! (Crazy term, huh?) I think back now and wonder if we had taken into consideration that I was going to look like a zombie in the photo because of lack of sleep! Who knows!! But, we got ‘er done!!! We went by the florists to pick up a fake bouquet and headed to the photographer’s studio.
We were married on August 17, 1968 in the Asbury Bible Church in Milan, Illinois. The question in the book is asked – and I sort of answered it –
what I wore – a lace covered bodice and full length, full skirt with layers of lace over the skirt. I even wore one of those hoops (under the skirt obviously) to keep the skirt full and fortunately, there was some bending to the bottom of the hoop or we would have had a catastrophe of sorts when I sat down!! Lol!!
My attendants – my maid-of-honor was Shirley Throne. She had become a very close friend and still is!!! Marilyn Cook Darnell was another one of my attendants and I talked about her before. While we lost contact with each other for a while, we have remained close friends and she’s right up at the top of best friends in my life. Linda (Bob’s sister for those who don’t know) was another one of the bridesmaids and Judy Patterson was the fourth. She was another one of those teenage friends who I would still consider a special friend. My flower girl was Crystal Fankhauser and my miniature bride was Rachel, my little (and only) sister. Of course, any story about our wedding is not complete unless I shared the “I want my dollar” story and I can see Rachel rolling her eyes already. She wasn’t even quite four years old then so what could we expect. What we didn’t expect was that she would become very determined NOT to walk down that aisle and additionally, she was not having any part of walking down the aisle with a boy!!! Steve Antrim was our miniature groom, probably about a year older than Rachel.
Evidently, the mothers had not yet gone down the aisle when we were having this discussion. My mother-in-law had brought Rachel a doll and at first, she proclaimed (Rachel, that is) that she was carrying that doll down the aisle. That was definitely not the idea we would want shared (a miniature bride carrying a baby down the aisle) so that was scrapped much to her dismay. Finally, we offered her a dollar and back then, a dollar would buy quite a bit – especially at the candy store where we loved to go. So, she was happy and content and walked down the aisle like she should but behind Steven, not beside him. THEN … we had decided that it would be best that she sit by my mother during the ceremony. She probably smoothed her dress before she told my mother, “I want my dollar, now!” This was going on during the ceremony and has given us one of those “unforgettable” moments that we love!! My mother gave her that dollar and without even thinking, Rachel started waving that dollar, looking at our organist, Bette Towle, and whispering LOUDLY, “I got my dollar!!” Poor thing – for years and years, Rachel has had to listen to that story – but what she may not realize is that it is one of those neat stories that make memories for a lifetime! The flipside – or end of the story – was that before we could get everyone gathered for photos at the end of the ceremony, Rachel had headed outside to play. She didn’t think twice about taking her bouquet with her and when she came in, the center part of the bouquet, the orchids, were missing. Another memory – but a cherished one!! Years have passed – and I am so blessed to have her as my little sister!!
There was one other interesting tidbit – I had heard from several brides that they were so nervous that they could not even remember much from their ceremony. So, I decided to remember something but I am not sure this was the best thing to focus on. During prayer, I counted the candles on the candelabras as I wanted to remember a fact about the wedding – 13 candles!! I know – I should have paid much more attention to the prayer or to my dad wiping tears during that time.
But, other memories keep flooding. Bob wrote a song for me for our wedding. Pretty awesome – it would have been completely awesome had he not lost his voice due to some sinus problems prior to our wedding. So, he spoke the words – but I loved them just as much as if he had sung them!!
Amazingly enough, while we cannot find the actual copy of the song, we put our minds together and remembered the first verse and chorus -- and one phrase from the second verse: "And joys will spring eternal" from the second verse!! Here is what we remember:
Today we start our lives together, dear;
The blessings of the Lord are ours.
We’ll walk in love together
And share these blessed hours.
We will not dread the morrow,
In honor walk through sorrow
As hand in hand we travel
Fore’er in love.
We’ll walk together in love forever,
With God to guide our paths to heav’n above.
This love forever no power can sever,
We’ll walk together, dear, fore’er in love.
My dad and Rev. D.V. Smith performed our marriage, my Uncle Ben sang and also Vicki Preston. It was a little difficult for my dad as I was the oldest child, his oldest daughter – and he wasn’t quite ready for this to happen. I noticed in one of the photos that he was wiping away a tear. I was so blessed by wonderful parents!!!
After pics, we were off to our reception … with a whole entourage behind us (I think we counted about 30 cars)!! But, we thought we would have some fun – actually did something similar twice that night – and rode to the reception in Moline with friends, Rick and Judy Yancey. We loved having all these people following us, blowing their horns and we felt so important!! The reception was in the Crystal Room on the second floor of a building in downtown Moline. It’s funny that I don’t remember a lot about our reception – bits and pieces and the fact that I had a cousin who LOVED to take pictures and followed us everywhere all evening. When one of the final photos was taken of Bob and me signing our marriage license, I looked like I was totally ‘done in’!!
We had hidden our car from folks that we knew would have a grand time using their decorating skills to let people know we were hitched. We were very confident – VERY – that no one would know. However, our photographer came up to ask us about it and we very nonchalantly responded with the location – and he reported right back to Bob’s sister, Linda, and off they went!!! Ugh!!! Hindsight – 20/20!! Since we were oblivious to all of this going on, we had gone to great lengths to ‘lose’ whoever might follow us from the reception to where our car was hidden. One of our ushers, Ron Barr, had a little Saab which we climbed into and then he had fun maneuvering his way through an adjacent bank parking lot which included drive through tellers which seemed to only accommodate Ron’s style of car! We were sooo proud of ourselves until we got to his house only to find out that those who were behind us had been in front of us not long before – our car was definitely decorated for the occasion!!!
But, we were still going to have some fun at the expense of brothers and others who like to drive fast!!! When we got into our car (feeling a little subdued – especially me since I so nicely let the car – rather, car – out of the bag) and headed out on our honeymoon, we had another entourage that thought they would accompany us for a while – we were headed out on I-80 and we decided just to take our sweet, old time – driving about 50 miles per hour!! I think we bored our followers quickly as they, one by one, (have no idea if there were more than two – ha!), turned back towards home …
And we were off on our honeymoon ….
And that’s another story …..
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