Happy Mother's Day to a special mother-in-law!!!

I am indeed blessed to have a wonderful mother-in-law!! She loves to have fun (even at almost 88 years old), keeps up a garden and has dinner ready and waiting no matter what time we arrive at her house! I've always felt just like a daughter rather than an 'in-law' and can't identify with typical 'mother-in-law' stories we sometimes hear!! I am truly blessed!

Mothers, Grandmothers, Great-Grandmothers!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Grandmother?? I can't be that old ....

I was looking through old photos as I've been doing some much needed spring cleaning! It's amazing what you find and it's scary when I find a newspaper dated 10 years ago and wonder why I didn't find that until now? Does that mean I haven't even been through that particular box since we moved into this house almost 11 years ago?? Sandi has been helping and when she gets on a roll, watch out! I think she has inherited that from her husband (okay, so 'inherited' isn't the right word). If Tim decides to clean out closets or cupboards, you better stand right next to him or he will throw everything out but the kitchen sink.

Which brings up something else from my plane trip home on Sunday. We were getting ready to get off the plane when I heard someone refer to 'the kitchen sink' across the aisle from me. I thought they were using some cliche' since they seemed to have some heavy luggage with them. I found out -- the indeed had a 'sink' in one of the bags!

Okay ... so back to 'stuff'! I found two more boxes of my mother's things so when Rachel arrives on Monday afternoon, we will once again begin the task of going through more 'stuff' and trying to decide what we keep and what we don't. If we are going to just simply set it aside for another 10 years, I suppose we might as well get rid of it -- but, then again, I am a little hesitant. Come on, Sandi ... I'll look the other way and you can get rid of it for me.

I was going through my closet yesterday -- boy, have I gotten off track ... anyway, I have one of these long walk in closets that had clothes stretched the entire length of the closet. (On rods, of course ... for the most part anyway). I realize that some of the clothes would have to stretch to fit me so we began a purging process -- that doesn't sound good since I've heard that term related to unhealthy dieting. Believe me, that was not the case here. Sandi told me that the rule of thumb must be that I really LOVE it enough to keep it or actually fit into it. (Some I kept to keep me motivated to get the weight off!) I won't tell you how many bags I took to the Salvation Army but the man who was accepting donations told me that he was really glad I had less than the car in front of me which had 30 bags! Don't worry -- it was MUCH less than that! I can actually get around my closet much easier -- I do have lots of boxes in my bathroom -- which is large enough to put a double bed in it! I'm actually getting organized and have as my goal to have it done by tomorrow afternoon. We'll see if I accomplish that!!

Back to grandmothers ... in the middle of the photos I found the first photo of our three oldest girls with my grandmother. Shonna was not born yet -- Teri is in the front along with Roxanne and Sandi. What a neat photo! Then I found the other two photos that were taken at Christmas time with our eight grandchildren!

Sometimes circumstances are not exactly as we had planned -- we've found that to be quite true over the past couple years. And I will be entering a new phase of life in October -- that of being a great-grandmother. I'm not sure I'm ready for that title -- don't you have to be 'old' to be a great-grandmother?? Not necessarily ... whatever the case, I want my role as grandmother and great-grandmother to be the very best role I can fill.

I think we need a special day to honor grand-mother's. Oh, there is one already? It seems to come and go rather unnoticed. Maybe we can start a petititon -- everyone else seems to send out petitions by email (don't you get tired of those?) So, no, don't think I'll do that ...

I think I'll go back to just enjoying my kids and grandkids ... I'm too busy to do much else! And I do love it!

"Just stepping on shore ...."

Just stepping on shore and finding it heaven,
Just grasping a hand and finding it God's,
Just breathing new air and finding it celestial,
Just waking up in glory and finding you're home .. "

That song has always meant a lot to me but when Bob read those words during my mother's funeral service, they really struck home. I know others whose mothers are now in heaven know that in a way, Mother's Day is not quite the same as when she was here with us. Yet, there is a comfort in knowing she is finally 'home'!!

I wrote this as I was going through my mother's office following her death ... my dad and I did laugh from time to time -- especially as I passed him with yet another bag of things I had to get rid of ... but, let me go back to my original post ...

Where do I go from here??

As I looked at my mother’s office, I wasn’t quite sure where to start … my mother was of the belief that if she found a newspaper or magazine clipping that might be used for someone at some point in the future, it would be wise to keep it. We had laughed together about that on various occasions when we almost got into a tug-of-war .. not literally but figuratively. I would say, “Let’s throw it away … when are you going to use it?” To which she replied, “Oh, I don’t know but I’m sure I will need it .. sometime!” So, I was now going to go through the task of going through those same clippings and wondering what was special about each one. Well .. that is stretching it .. had I actually thought that about each one, I might still be there in the office … reading, deciding …. keeping, throwing away .. etc., etc.

As I began to get rid of various items which held value only as they related to my mother (were she still alive), I had mixed emotions. Part of me was hesitant about throwing things away yet hearing a little voice that reminded me, “Remember when I told you I wanted to go through all this stuff before I passed away … now you understand why!” And I smiled and actually chuckled out loud probably … and my dad wondered what I was doing and would ask from the living room, “What was that?” I would tell him that I had just found a another file with a multitude of copies of articles as I gently tossed it into the trash bag in front of me and wondered for a moment if perhaps I was being disrespectful or disloyal to my mom. At the same time, I felt I had her blessing! (I wondered if maybe she felt relief that it was finally getting done!)
So, it was back to the task at hand and every once in a while, I’d hear my dad ask again, “What was that?” when I found a treasure "Aha!" … something that I tossed into my own box which, by the way, ended up being seven boxes .. crammed full!! Bob hasn’t decided he wants me to bring them into our house – after all, don’t we have our own stuff that I have promised to go through for the past ..??... years?!

And Post-It notes … please understand when I share this and don’t throw anything at the computer … we actually placed some post-it notes in the casket with my mother. I know .. we probably are viewed as rather crazy but there were some very special ‘jokes’ in our home and those included post-it notes and duct tape! I found all kinds of post-it notes and still have some I am looking through. Some simply had a grocery list on it .. others had prayer requests … probably the funniest thing was a photo I found of when my mother had put post-it notes all over the front door for my dad. (Yup, the photo at the top of this post!) I remember seeing her shopping list before and you could be sure that post-it notes and toner for her printer would head up the list. Oh ... and duct tape. Would you believe that we found a package of 'pocket duct tape'??" Unopened but I'm sure she felt like she would need it someday!

Back to the toner for her computer ... she had planned that pretty well, I believe. When I wrote up my report on her funeral service, I did that on her computer and then printed it off. I got one copy … and the toner ran out! Coincidence? Perhaps but somehow it seemed that many things were just "right" ... just the way they needed to be for her to be able to leave us.

More later .. but for now, I’ll leave you with the door of post-it notes … and special memories!!

The following post was written by Rachel at Thanksgiving after my mother passed away and she did such an outstanding job of sharing her thoughts and emotions ...

Dear God,

Thank You for my dear Mother. There has not been a day that has passed that I haven't wanted to pick up the phone and call her. I miss talking to her every day and sometimes more than once. See, she was the one I could call when I had a special prayer need. I knew she would take it before You, God, and plead my cause and then she would give me her advice on the matter. I miss her so much!

Thank you for my dear Mother. I see her in just about every part of my life. The recipes I cook daily remind me when Mother went to work full time, I was 13 years old. I had the responsibility to fix dinner every night. I would call her when I got home from school and she would "walk" me thru the recipe and I learned how to cook. I even remember our 1st Thanksgiving after we were married and Mom and Dad were at Tim and Susan's. We couldn't go, so she helped me with recipes to make my first Thanksgivng dinner.

Thank you for my dear Mother. I think of her every Sunday and probably miss her the most on Sunday mornings before church. (She sometimes would call and say she was praying for our service.) I'm reminded that she was a mother of 6 and pastor's wife who had to get to church to play the piano, just like I do and sometimes I just don't feel too excited to fulfill those duties...I am sure she felt that way too. I miss Sunday dinners where mom would fix dinner....roast or pork roast and Dad would mash the potatoes. Jene' and Shara remember a lot of meals like that, but my younger ones don't have a clue what I am talking about and that hurts. We have made Sunday family dinners a tradition at our house too. (I think maybe we could carry on the same traditions that remind us of Mother in our own homes.) I miss Mother's calls on Sunday afternoon when she would ask "How did your service go?" and "How many did you have?" (I even miss the 7:30 calls when Mother was having her devotions and she would call to see what was going on in the Southerland household, so she could know how to pray for us. God, I miss that the most!!!!

Thank you for my dear Mother......that you allowed her to pass away on a beautiful Sunday, her favorite day and while the sun was still shining. She desired to go peacefully and You made that possible. It was such a sacred time and Your presence was so real and Your peace was so real.

Thank You God for our family. Thank You for the support of Linda, Tim, Mark, Joel, and Thad and their families during such great time of grief. Thank You for Linda being like Mom to me just like when I was a little girl and I couldn't decide if I wanted to live with her or Mother. Sometimes I feel so young to lose my mother, but I know others have lost theirs when they were younger...it just doesn't ease the pain. We cried together, laughed together as we went thru mountains of "stuff" in Mother's office. We cried over all of her notes and were amazed at her forethought in so many detailed areas. As I read thru several e-mails she sent me, I wept as I was reminded of her great faith in You. She knew You never failed, she knew You answered prayer and would answer her prayers.

Thank you for hearing my prayers and help me to be such a great woman of faith.Thank You for strength and help to get Dad moved ... the many, many hours that Linda worked and threw away maybe 40 bags of stuff. (Mother had wanted to do that before she passed away!) Thank you for everyone's help in the move...Linda helped organize it all and the boys helped out, too. We never could have done it without everyone helping out. (We took orders..ha) Thank you that Susan was able to stay with Dad after mother passed away for several day....that was such a comfort to Dad. The move for Dad was very smooth. Thank You God for working out the details of Dad's new place the day after mom's funeral.

Thank You for my dear husband who has allowed me to grieve and comforted me when I would wake up after dreaming about Mother....the grief seemed so unbearable...he was there to hug me and just let me cry. Thank you that he sacrificed the time so I could be with Dad and help him out. Thank you for my dear children that have really felt the loss of G'ma in their lives. Thank you for Shara who babysat many hours so I could be at the hospital and take care of a lot of other stuff for G'pa. Please help me as a mother to teach my children just like my mother taught me, to love You and serve You with their whole being and be passionately "in love" with You. I want to remind them of their G'ma often and tell them how much she loved them and prayed for them daily and also how they brought so much joy into her life. I want to keep those memories alive.

God, please comfort my Dad during this time. I know he feels the loss so greatly and he's so lonely and misses Mother's prayers. Thank you for him and the example he and mother set before us daily. We are truly blessed with such a great heritage. Please help us to encourage Dad and help him during this time. God, I know this holiday will have such fresh pain as we feel the loss of Mother. I know it may not always be this difficult, so help us to never forget all the promises we made to Mother as she was starting to make her entrance into Heaven. Remind us of these daily and may we strive to live extra close to You in our preparation of that one day when we will see her again.

God, please tell her I miss her so very much and the tears fall often, but I know I have Your hope that I will "meet her in the morning". Thank You for Your peace and grace that sustains and keeps me. Please tell her "Happy Thanksgiving"...we will remember last Thanksgiving as she said she was ready to go to Heaven.....and how she said, as she wept, that each one of her family was so very precious to her and how much she loved each one of us.

Thank You for my dear Mother!

And from all of your children, Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!

What a day ... for my dad ... for my sister ... for my ....

My dad called me last evening and his first question was, "Have you heard of Murphy's Law?" I assured him I had but didn't really get a chance to tell him that I had heard all about his day from my sister just a couple hours earlier. I was impressed that he seemed in good spirits even after the crazy day he had experienced. Rachel wrote it up for me so I am going to share this in her words ...

"Just thought I'd write this down while I remembered it all. Today started early and I headed out the door with Seth to get his cast off and an x-ray to make sure he is doing okay. He look great. Yeah!!

We were just getting into the car when Dad called to say he was having a big problem. It was 9:30 and he hadn't been given his 8:00am meds yet. I told him I was just getting Seth cared for and he apologized and then continued on by asking me to call Julie. It was very important for him to get his medicine on time since he was leaving at noon for a doctor's appointment. I tried to think this through before calling Julie so I took Seth to get a donut and thought I'd just drop by Glenn Oaks.

I stopped to talk to the Director of Nursing, etc., and then asked, "Has my dad had his 8am meds yet?" She looked at her watch and said, "I'm sure he has." I said, "Well, as of 15 minutes ago, he hadn't had them." Just then, his nurse came out and the director asked him (nurse) if Dad had been given his meds. He said he had apologized, etc. You have to remember that Dad must have his meds on time with his MG (Myasthenia Gravis) condition. I was trying to make a point by just being there and then I asked if he had had his Ensure yet ... his nurse seemed pretty flustered.

I then asked, "What will he do about his meds when he leaves at noon?" Julie said that he can take his noon meds before he leaves or take them with him. (Actually, they would have been too close together if he took them at noon.) I asked if the driver taking him would give it to him. (You have to remember that I had told Dad I could not go with him today since I had to be at an oral surgeon to get a tooth pulled -- that took 5 shots and was pretty difficult to remove.) Julie said, "One of you kids need to be with you dad. They won't see him unless you are there. Can one of your brothers go or maybe your daughter?" I told her I wasn't sure since Jene' was going in to work there at Glenn Oaks at noon.

I got on the road and tried to call Joel and then Thad. I got home and asked Shara if she could go. She was in the middle of her on-line Spanish class. She agreed to go and check Dad in and fill out all the paperwork. Joel then called and said he thought he could make it here and when he called Dad at 11:30, they still hadn't gotten him up and dressed. Joel said he would just try to catch the van when they got on I-70 and I would bring him Dad's insurance cards, etc.

I called and told Julie that Dad needed to call Joel when he left Glenn Oaks. This was at 11:50. She said, "He's already gone!" Wow! They were not to leave until noon and he wasn't even up at 11:30! I was certain that his anxiety level was up since they had to get him dressed so quickly and into the van. This usually causes breathing difficulties for him.

Joel called to say he was stopped on I-70 in traffic around Knightstown. Dad then called to say that they were going to take him on Route 3 to Route 40 instead of I-70. Allen told Joel just to go on I-70, that it will be faster and you can meet them at the hospital where the doctor's office is. Dad then called back to say that the van that he was riding in had broken down right in front of the gas station just up from our house. Joel made a u-turn on I-70 and came back. Dad was in the van using his electric razor and trying not to stress out! Joel got gas in his vehicle and they called another van to take Dad. They then had to move the signs on the grass so they could get him out since he was in his scooter. The scooter gets stuck in the grass -- the other van arrives. Joel helps him get into the van, the driver then asks where she needs to take him. (The appointment was to be at 1pm, by the way, and it is now 12:35!) The driver says she must first go back to Knightstown to drop someone else off and then take him. Joel asked them to call him when they come back through so that he can follow them. Joel comes to our house to get Dad's social security card and insurance cards, etc. I then leave for the dentist.

Joel met up with them, they made it to the hospital and proceed to unload Dad in his scooter. The get in and ask which way to the office and, lo and behold, it is across the street and down the road. Back in the van he goes and down the road! They unload Dad again and try to find the wheelchair ramp. It was completely around the other side of the building. They have him go up the ramp and then he can't get over the threshold! The doctor comes out and says to try to back himself in -- they tried and it still didn't work!! They have to bring out another wheelchair and transfer him into that one and leave his scooter out on the porch.

They get into the office and of course, they need the info that Joel had brought since Glenn Oaks didn't send it with him. By this time, Dad needs his meds which they have crushed up in applesauce so he can take it more easily. But, he needs a glass of water so Joel gets that for him. But, now, he has to go to the bathroom which Joel described as very small. Dad barely was able to get his wheelchair into the room and shut the door.

By the way, Joel got Dad a new phone so Jimmy went with him to get that all set up. Can you believe Dad actually survived the day??

With Mother's Day so close, I thought about our mother and how she must be smirking as she watched us struggle through this day. I am sure she is amused but yet so proud of her children and how they are taking care of Dad just like she asked us to do. We are honoring her by caring for him.

It it hadn't been so stressful, it would have just been about the funniest day ever!!"

Back to my dad's call to me ... he did tell me that after he talked to the doctor (he arrived an hour and twenty minutes late for his appointment but they worked him in), he asked if he could make a request. The doctor said that he could so my dad asked if he could pray with him. The doctor seemed a little surprised but welcomed my dad praying for him and for his medical practice.

He also told me that he was about as stressed as he could be when he got to the doctor's office and thought he might just stop breathing. But, he then decided to just sit back and try to relax which he must have done because he was in pretty good spirits when he called me and could actually see the humor in the whole day!! Murphy's law!!

The joys of motherhood!!

Honoring Mothers!

... who are also daughters!

Each year, we often turn our thoughts to our mothers. And I do, too ... and wish that mine was nearby so that I could honor her once again for so many things. However, she has gone on to heaven -- yet somehow, I believe she is nearby in spirit.

Bob and I talked yesterday about our daughters and their roles as moms. Each one has proven to be an awesome mother (am I prejudiced?) and I want to honor them today!

Roxanne is our oldest and while she is does not like to think about her age, she is 37 years old. She is young at heart and I always appreciate the humor she brings into our lives. She can see something funny in a somewhat serious situation and dissolve all of us into hysterics in just a few moments. She is the most like me probably -- which is why we butt heads quite often. She is mom to 17 year old Kasi and 9 year old Kamen. She has faced some unusual challenges as a mom over the past few months but has handled them with grace. Raising teenagers is never an easy job -- we had four of them at the same time!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sandi is next and just 10-1/2 months younger than Roxanne. (Wow, had 'em close, huh?) No, we adopted Roxanne and by the time she was 6 weeks old, I was pregnant with Sandi. Go figure! They are true soul mates! Tyler didn't come along until Sandi and Tim had been married 10 years so Sandi was a very doting aunt -- just ask Roxanne. She was right there ... even when there was a parent/teacher meeting at school. Sandi was a willing and avid advocate for Kasi! When she was pregnant with Tyler, Kamen would sit beside her and put both of his hands on her stomach. He wasn't quite 2 years old. He would sit for up to 20-30 minutes with his hands both placed so that he could feel any movement that Tyler might make. And Tyler and Kamen are like brothers -- they love and they fight like brothers!! When Tyler was in the first weeks of kindergarden, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. (It is the mildest form of Autism and those who have this are often called 'little professors'! So true!) Needless to say, it stunned them but they rallied and threw themselves into an intense study of this syndrome and have become very knowledgable in this field.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Teri is a mom of four at 34 years old -- and juggles school schedules and bottles all at the same time. Mom to three daughters, Marley, 12; Regan, 10; Bailey, 9; and one son, Rudy -- who just turned 1 on Saturday! When I babysit for her, it becomes a challenge to follow her schedule and I wonder how I did it all those years ago. I look at Regan and see a miniature Teri and I think, "Look out, world!" Rudy has brought a whole new dimension into their lives! They had adjusted their lives to having three daughters, dance classes and recitals, gymnastics and volleyball games. And along came Rudy who already is 'all boy'. That was an adjustment for Teri ... now each of the girls has one boy!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shonna may be the youngest but we do not call her the baby (she is almost 32). She is probably the most in disposition like Bob but has some of my emotions. A dangerous combination! (lol!) She is the mom to one little guy, RJ (Robert Joseph) who was five years old in March. I think RJ (and Ron and Shonna, also) would like for him to have a brother or sister but so far that has not happened. They recently added a golden lab to their family ... not necessarily an easy addition for Shonna since it is still a 'pup' but RJ fell in love with his dog and isn't anxious to give him up! "You promised, Mom!" RJ recently had corrective surgery and it was tough on Mom (and Dad). But, they all came through it well and RJ is back to his active self!

I have watched each of the girls with their children and feel so blessed -- I've seen many mothers who feel that they have to become involved in the disciplining and raising of their grandchildren and while I don't feel limited by the girls, I just have not felt the necessity. (Well -- maybe on occasion if the parents were not around and I was responsible for them ... Regan, are you reading this?) They are working diligently to establish Christian homes and influences in their lives.

So, on this Mother's Day -- Happy Mother's day to my daughters ... who have blessed my life more they can possibly imagine!