How do you summarize 84 years on a piece of paper?

I wrote this up this morning ... it will be published (with some editing) in the Indianapolis Star with my dad's obituary and will also be used in the program at the funeral home. Rachel called and asked that I put some thoughts on paper .. and this is how that began ...

How does one take 84 years of a precious man’s life and put into a few paragraphs? How do we convey the depth of love we felt as his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and even a great-great-grandchild? And how do we convey his love for all of you?

Do we share how he told us every time we talked to him how much he loved us? Or just called us to say, “Can I pray with you today?” Or during the last few years when he was so afraid of chocking to death, hear a soft voice on the other end of the phone saying, “Please pray for me! I am afraid!”

Do we share memories from childhood of a dad who took his role as “Dad” very seriously—from teaching us how to ride a bike to driving us across the country in our faithful old station wagon to see the sights of the country. We didn’t mind that he was going to be speaking at a campmeeting – we just knew that Dad would take that trip and make it momentous as a family.


Do we share how he served in General Patton’s Third Army in World War II? Or do we share how he built his bride their first home when he was a student at Olivet Nazarene College where he was student body president in 1951? Do we share the times that he sat down beside each of us to listen … or to hear a little girl’s call from upstairs, “Daddy, I can’t sleep!” Do we share about his philosophy that since our mother took care of us all day, he would take care of us all night. And he did! Or to share in the delight in an accomplishment – whether it was the accomplishment of a child or grandchild, he celebrated with us!

Do we share about his love for his siblings .. his brothers and sisters and how he called his sister, Dorothy, almost every night or called one of us to tell us the latest joke told to him by his brother, Bob. How we would laugh together!

Do we share the basketball games he had with the boys or the rousing games of ping pong between father and sons. Or the political discussions at Grandma Nelson’s? Or do we share that it only took a call, “Dad, I need you” and it was quickly Dad to the rescue.

Do we share how he loved each one of us the same and yet differently .. and that was good! Or how he could sense when any one of us had a problem and, up until his health declined so that it was difficult for him to cope, we would get a phone call, “Is everything okay?” We found we had to tell him the truth – or he’d keep calling until we did. Do we share about his deep love for our mother and how they were a role model for marriage.

Do we share how he had to learn to live with Myasthenia Gravis and was pretty sure he knew more than the doctors and probably did. Or that he wrote a book, “Living Positively With Myasthenia Gravis”? Or that he already had a book published, "Fire and Fruit".

Do we share Dad’s love for ministry? For pastoral ministry, missions or his passion for training young people. And how that passion led him to establishing Bible Colleges where they could be trained.

How can we convey the deep love Dad had for everyone! Truly everyone .. he loved people! And because of that, didn’t know a stranger. As he shared again a couple weeks ago, “Dale Carnegie once said that the sweetest word in the English language is one’s name.” And there were very few people that Dad couldn’t call by name once he met them. Even when he couldn’t see – he could hear their voices and call out their name.

It’s difficult to know exactly what to share but I do know this, he was a “gentle giant”. He was the first to admit he had made his share of mistakes over the years but in doing so, earned a new respect from those who knew him. He loved His Lord more than he could express and you could hear him praying to his heavenly Father throughout the day. His desire was simply to be more like Christ. He wasn’t content unless He knew all was clear between his soul and His savior.

Today, we do know what to share -- that we rejoice in the fact that Dad is finally home with Jesus. And home with Mother and perhaps they are walking through heaven today where he can catch her up on all the latest news about the kids and grandkids and assure her that one day soon, we will all be together again – may the circle be unbroken!!

Funeral Arrangements for my dad, Rev. R.C. Boynton

Location information:

Viewing, Monday, October 5th, 4-8pm
Sproles Family Funeral Home
2400 South Memorial Drive
New Castle, Indiana 47362
Phone: 765.521.2400

Celebration of Life by family, Tuesday, October 6, 10am
Spiceland Church of the Nazarene
(1 mile south of I-70, Exit #123)
6293 S State Road 3
Spiceland, IN 47385-9798
(765) 987-7672

Funeral Service, 11am
Rev. J. Allen Southerland, officiating

Graveside Services, 3pm
Oaklawn Memorial Gardens
9700 Allisonville Road
Indianapolis, IN 46250

My dad has made his entrance into heaven!!

I am awake .. still trying to process the knowledge that my mother and dad have been reunited in heaven!! And while I am saddened and will miss him terribly, I am so glad that he made the entrance peacefully and that he is healthy, whole and able to sing .. and perhaps he has already sung his favorite song to my mom, "I love you truly" .. he sang it to her every night before they went to bed. He passed away around midnight.

Wow, I missed some birthdays on my blog ....

I had several "Happy Birthday's" in September and seemed to have missed sharing much about them -- I guess because I was off and running through most of this month .. however, I wanted to highlight two here -- Kamen's 11th and Roxanne's ... well, let's say she is now as old as Jack Benny! lol!!

Kamen's birthday is on September 11th so needless to say, we do not forget that date! He's growing into such a neat young man -- loves football, wrestling and most other sports! He's competed in wrestling and won! (Since his dad is a wrestling coach, that gives him some training advantage!)

So, a belated Happy Birthday on my blog, Kamen .. we've celebrated .. and hopefully he has been shopping in the past few days!!

I posted the following letter on my Facebook page but thought I would also include it here ... along with some great, funny, interesting, silly photos ... all depicting our oldest child!! We are blessed indeed!

Wow, it doesn't seem like ... ahem ... ?? years ago that you were born!! And while you were born on September 23rd, the date that sticks in my mind is October 5th, the day you came into our home and forever became our oldest child! Big brown eyes, wisps of curly hair and a personality that from early on won the hearts of all who came in contact with you.

Just six weeks later, I became pregnant with Sandi ... so for a month, you are the 'same' age! And my grandmother was certain that we must have adopted Sandi, too, since she was so blonde and fair. You became soulmates quickly and I have admired that about the two of you throughout the years.

You talked early -- 7 months with a wave of your hand and a "Hi". We laughed and knew we had to have the smartest child in the world. And when you were speaking in full sentences at 13 months old, we knew we had a genius. Okay, so we were first time parents .. but you had life pretty well figured out.

You were Sandi's interpreter and protector. She didn't talk quickly -- but she didn't have to. You figured out what she wanted and communicated that to us quite well. Over the years, your roles would change from time to time -- depending on which one needed the other one most. Again, such qualities to be cherished.

You made friends easily ... and lots of them. Your laughter brought comfort to many, I'm sure, and amusement to others -- like when you decided to stand up on the table in a fast food restaurant and sing until cops rushed in with guns drawn. Not a prank, just someone accidentally calling the cops .. it did make a memory.

From the time you were little -- 4 years old -- music was important and became your life. From "I Am A Promise" until now, your passion has blessed many people. I never worried about whether you would remember the words or the tune or follow an accompaniment tape -- it always came naturally.

You've taken your role as a mom seriously and we are so blessed by that. Watching your children grow up and then see you in your role as a grandmother is something I treasure. Meeting your birth mother was one of those treasured experiences and I am so glad we did that together. I love the poem I found for you ...

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still, miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Your willingness to give of yourself is an inspiration. During the past year when I was dealing with a broken leg, you never hesitated to be right by my side -- doing things you would definitely rather not be doing but doing it without complaint. And insisting that I do everything I was supposed to do! We laughed through a lot of it .. which made it much easier for me.

I always look forward to times when your laughter fills a room. It's fun to watch others get caught up in it and before long, everyone is feeling pretty good. However, I also know that behind that laughter many times may be hurts that you cannot share at the moment. I believe it is Chonda Pierce that says sometimes we laugh so we won't cry. And I know you've had your share of those times.

But, I'm glad you are striving to be a woman after God's heart. Not always easy when raising teenagers -- I guess I know since I raised four! Yet able to look back on those years and celebrate the good times and the great memories.

Which of course brings up the many trips we took across the countryside. Dad couldn't quite grasp the fact that you really do get carsick! He'd fly through the mountains and it's a miracle that we weren't having to stop by the side of the road. From the night in Yellowstone when it was much colder than we thought it would be and the van where you and Sandi were sleeping wasn't heated to the visit to the church where you asked your dad rather loudly why he was wearing a beanie on his head (while a service was going on), we have made memories!! Poor Dad ... having four daughters .. you, Sandi, Teri and Shonna ... sometimes had him a little overwhelmed on our vacations! But, he planned some awesome vacations -- it's just that he had to be reminded that you weren't the traveler! lol!!

Remember the time when you got tickled in the middle of a church service while someone was singing their heart out .. and Dad tried to keep you from laughing but couldn't keep from laughing himself. I knew that once you got started, there would be no stopping!

I know I'm rambling but there are so many memories that swirl through my mind ... like the couple days before Kasi was born. Yuo were always the most comfortable when Dad was home. So, you waited until he arrived home from Washington DC (he could only sit for the bar exam for the US Tax Court at that particular date) to decide it was "time" to head for the hospital. When he was home, all was good.

I'll never forget your wedding and that Chris didn't show up for the rehearsal. Not that he didn't want to but he, along with other family members, were stuck in Tampa airport traffic. I think he was picking up Leonard (a groomsman) and they arrived in time for the rehearsal dinner! Again, what memories .. or what about the most "unforgettable" time of all -- when Jim Lacy made his faux pas that forever will be etched in the minds of everyone who attended your wedding.. poor Jim! When he just couldn't get that tape started quite right for Kasi to sing ... but what a memory it made! I can still see Kasi at 5 years old rolling her big brown eyes at him!

And now you are a grandmother and I'm feeling old ... not really, but there is a difference when you are the mother of a grandmother and you watch your daughter in the role that was once yours. However, you are doing that well ... you and Chris are blessed by two great children and a beautiful granddaughter.

I am blessed by your talents, spiritual gifts, your personality -- but, most of all, by simply being you -- our first born. I am truly blessed to be your mom!!

I love you ... have a wonderful birthday!!

Wow, it's been a long time ....

When I looked at my blog and saw it had been such a long time since I posted here, I wondered where the time had gone!! I also post a lot on Facebook and perhaps that has just taken up too much time. I enjoy reading blogs and have some to catch up on now, too. I don't like to post too much since it seems like those who come back from a trip with lots and lots of photos and want to share them ... and while some are great, others are more for the one who is sharing them than the one who is viewing them. (Although my sister and sisters-in-law are the exception -- they have taken scrapbooking to an excellent art and there is always a story in their photos!!

The past month has been one of the longest and fastest months all at the same time! Wow .. I've been to Ohio and back -- that spread over almost three weeks -- visited my dad for several days, spent days with old friends (CampMeeting Kids Reunion), shared with friends whose father was making his final crossing into heaven, almost got flooded into or out of Atlanta .. wow! What rain!! A drought last year, no drought this year!!

Here it is .. almost the end of September .. which reminds me of so many birthdays in this month. Today, for example, is my cousin, Carol Hixson, and Bob's nephew, Brent Smith's birthdays. The beginning of the month -- wow ... Shaley (Rachel's), the 9th, Rachel and Bob's, the 10th, Kamen and Joel Ryans (Joel's grandson) on the 11th, and little Liam's (Joel's grandson) arrival on the 14th. Roxanne's was on the 23rd and I'm sure I am probably missing others -- oh, yes, and my cousin, Gary's, is on the 30th! I thought November was a busy month .. but September has certainly passed it up, I believe.

It's always fun to spend some time at Rachel's even though I will get trounced handily in a video game .. we still have to play Nintendo 64 as the new games are all Greek to me .. oh, then again, I don't think there are any instructions in Greek, are there?!! We have a great time .. since my mother is gone, I think the role of surrogate grandmother is mine and I do enjoy it. I don't usually get to play for more than an hour the whole visit but the kids seem to accept that as sufficient.

It was Shaley's 13th birthday while I was there so she and I had some 'girl time' at Steak 'n Shake. A neat time as she shares some of things she is going through at this stage of her life. I am so glad for the freedom she has in sharing openly with me .. about 'guys', about life, etc. Rachel has done a great job raising her kids and I'm glad to be a part of their lives. It seems that we just have this great big family -- Rachel is closer to my girls ages than to mine (especially the older two) so she has a close friendship with them. Her kids look to her as "Aunt Sandi" at times, but they are actually cousins. With the age difference, it seems that the roles are different but actually aren't. :)

I got to be with Jacinta and her new little guy -- even got to be with her at her first doctor's (pediatrician) appointment (photo at the top). I am soo glad I went with her - -everyone was tied up that day and I was getting ready to head home. But the timing was right and there are so many things to do -- forms to fill out -- on the first appointment so I helped take him to be weighed, etc. The doctor (one of the best pediatricians I've met, a lady probably in her mid-30's) asked me if I was in the medical field. I told her 'no' and she said, "But you understand everything I have talked about." I assured her that four daughters, eight grandchildren, and one great gave me a lot of experience!

Interruption ... Kasi and Roxanne came by for a little while .. Ava's birthday is right around the corner -- can you believe she will be a year old on October 28th .. a month from today!! She's starting to walk and has quite a vocabulary already.

So much for today ... will have to catch up more later .. lol!