Is it time to say "good-bye"?

Two years ago, we thought might dad was going to go on to heaven to join our mother (I'm the oldest of the six chiledren). We spoke with the doctor and he gave us an overview and then suggested one treatment that might help ... it has for the past two years. He has been confined to his motorized scooter (chair) but has led an acceptable life for the most part. He's had his ups and downs but we have learned to accept where he is.

Over the past few weeks, some other symptoms have begun to express themselves -- primarily the loss of his voice. It is so raspy that we are unable to understand him when we call him on the phone - if he whispers, I can pick up some of the words. As a result, he is worn out physically ... and losing his voice has really affected his spirit. The one thing he so enjoyed doing was singing -- each Tuesday, Marian, a lady from the Spiceland Nazarene Church, would come out to Glenn Oaks Nursing Home and play the piano while my dad sang. Oh, how he enjoyed that. And then, each evening, he would make his way to several rooms where he would pray or sing with some of the residents there. We have heard from some of these about how much they appreciate what he has done for them.

He also has macular degeneration which means he really can't see anything straight on -- only periferal vision. So, when you put the two together along with his dimished lung capacity, he is struggling.

He was taken to the hospital on Thursday night ... I am so glad that Sandi and Tim were in Indy at the time -- they headed out to the New Castle hospital around 10:45pm and got back at 3:45am. Rachel and Allen were there -- I think Sandi was there for Rachel as much as anything as she was simply worn out. The doctor and the respiratory therapist basically told us that there is really nothing more they can do except to make him as comfortable as they can which can be done at the nursing home.

We don't know what the future holds or whether it is time to say "Good-bye" ... we have told him verbally that if he wants to go on "home", he has or permission, even though selfishly we would like to keep him around a long time. But, it appears he is getting closer so we are in preparation that our final "good-bye" could be just around the corner. Then again, we have thought that before and he hung on ... "Until then ... " (which is one of my dad's favorite songs)