The True Measure of a Man

I've been thinking quite a bit back over the past few weeks and especially my dad's funeral service -- I don't necessarily like the word "funeral" .. rather 'celebration' as it was truly a celebration of his life. I thought how while tears flowed, there was also much laughter as we remembered special times with Dad.

Dad had struggled over the past few years wondering if he done everything in life for the right reasons. He used the word "self-engrandizement" and wondered if he had indeed fallen prey to that. And, if so, had he hurt people along the way. Since he spent much of his time alone over the last three years, it allowed him to think .. sometimes a little too much over those things and he would call one of us. I would chide him sometimes .. and he might complain to Joel and Rachel about that .. but I wanted to remind him that those things he had committed to God and he needed to focus on how God had helped him to grow through these times.

I will never forget the time the six of us kids (just the six .. no spouses) arrived at Berkshire to surprise Mom and Dad. Oh, what a surprise that was for them -- almost too overwhelming for Dad. It was just the eight of us as it had been when all of us were younger and I was not yet married. We gathered in the living room and instead of Dad and Mother praying for us, we began to pray for Mom and Dad. It was probably one of the most precious times we have had as a family. We laughed a little -- we went out into the hallway for photos -- those photos were on the handout given at the viewing / funeral service. One serious photo and in keeping with tradition, one crazy photo! I mean .. really ... would you expect them all to be serious!! My mother's expression on her face told it all .. she knew that behind her were six kids making absolute fools of themselves -- except for Joel. He keeps us all in balance!

As we gathered for the funeral service, we realized that although Dad had impacted so many lives across the years .. his service to Bible Colleges, his role as pastor and evangelist, and in the work place, the greatest impact of his life was on those sitting in those first several rows at the church .. his children and grandchildren.

He had shared the requests he had for his funeral -- it didn't include a special guest speaker, preacher, etc. He asked that his son-in-law, Allen, share two of his own (Dad's) sermons. He trusted his family to share his heart .. he had entrusted his to us fully and he trusted us to share it with others. We had entrusted our hearts, our cares, our concerns to him and he had not failed us either!

Six children -- twenty grandchildren -- not counting the spouses, the greats and the great-great! We gathered together to do what he had done for us but in a different way ... he had given us all his blessing -- he had prayed a blessing on each one of us a few years ago at a reunion. Now we were here at this service to rise up and call him blessed. No, perhaps not the Proverbs 31 style -- but to call a man who loved us unconditionally -- blessed. Did he make mistakes? Oh, yes .. we all do. But, one of the greatest reasons I respected my dad so much -- and especially in the later years -- was his willingness to say, "I'm sorry. I made some choices I regret." He felt like some of those choices had negatively impacted his children and that grieved him greatly.

He loved us and prayed for us daily and and always when we were ready to leave after a visit. My last memory with dad was a few weeks ago when I was leaving Glen Oaks, he said, "Can we pray?" He began to pray but I knew he was failing when his voice trailed off and I finished the prayer for him.

So, what is the true measure of a man? Is it because of all those he has ministered to across the years? Is it the number of books or articles he has written? Is it what positions he holds?

While all of that is good, my answer is 'no'. For iin our family, it was shown by his children and grandchildren getting up and saying at the 'celebration service', "He loved us! He prayed for us! He played with us! He lived his life for us! And we are blessed!"

And, as far as I am concerned, that is the true measure of a man! And I am indeed blessed!