Wow … 43 years!!   My mind is usually in a whirl when I try to grasp all those years into my small brain which seems with age to be slowing down a bit! (Not that it was ever very fast!)

I am not a journaler (how’s that for going off topic right off the bat – I do that quite well, my husband says!!)  My sister is a master at journaling and there are times when I have been envious of her ability and then think, “Nope, can’t waste time thinking on that. I am wired absolutely, completely, positively opposite from her and I would write a page for about three days and that would be the end of it!”  However, I did take up journaling for a ‘season’ and that brings up some of the topics that I will share about marriage .. our marriage in particular.

When our granddaughters turn 12 – actually at the Christmas following their 12th birthday, they know that they will get one particular gift. I remember hearing that Kasi had reminded Marley that she would be getting “The Book” for Christmas after she had turned 12 in May a few years ago.  What is the book? “Grandmother’s Memories to Her Grandchild – A Journal of Faith and Love”.  Whew … It is awesome that it has the word “journal” in it so maybe I can complete my ambition of doing some type of journaling. (I have to admit, I really am in awe of my sister’s ability in this area!!)

Once I got started on the first one for Kasi, I thought … I am on a roll!!!! How about doing it for our daughters when they turned 30 – so all four of them have their own journal of my life (and about them, too) .. and know secrets that I wasn’t sure I would share with anyone. But, it is funny that as you begin to write and look at yourself somewhat objectively – although that is hard to do – it becomes much easier to share the tough stuff.  Obviously their book has a different title – Daughter instead of Granddaughter!

Now, why did I say all of that now as we near our anniversary? I thought I would have a little fun if you aren’t too bored to have stayed with me through all of this ramble … How about I take this book and ask myself a few of the questions and answer them here but without sharing too much. You see, I just have one more book to complete before my task is done – one more granddaughter who turned 12 in March. She will be receiving “The Book” this Christmas. I did have a challenge a few years ago when I couldn’t find any more in the bookstores. Finally found a couple and grabbed them so I could complete the goal.

So …. Are you ready to come along with me for a few moments – and probably laugh a little …

Remember, this one is written for a granddaughter but I have changed it to go along with this occasion -- I'll add a little or take away some for her book …


My first crush … hmmm … does getting a love note written to you in church when you are 7 years old count? I think he wrote, “Will you marry me?”  I cannot remember what I did with that note – whether I answered it but I never forgot about it – to this day!! His name was Donnie and I did get to see his sister a few years ago.

My first boyfriend … Since Facebook has about a zillion people you can connect with (six degrees of separation), I don’t think I will list names. Then again, I will say that one of the neatest boys in my life was Daniel Cook. (Yes, Bob knows all about him!)  I do know that there are many other gals along the way who thought the same thing!  He was a great looking guy, with a great personality and talented musically. His sister, Marilyn, was my close childhood friend and as I watched their relationship, I wished I could have had an older brother. (It was an added blessing when he could drive us to various places!) I haven’t figured out how I thought I could have one then! However, Daniel faced some physical and emotional challenges that caused him much heartache as well as his family and not too long ago, he made his entrance into heaven!  Having spoken to him a few times across the years, I was glad that he remembered some of those good times and even commented to Shonna (and I assured her she need not take him too seriously), “if your dad hadn’t come along, I’d have married your mom.” At first, she was a little miffed but understood as I explained some of the challenges Daniel faced. We knew that I was just one of those who he considered to be a dear friend – and I will always treasure that friendship.

I attended a small Christian school which was related to Francis Asbury Bible College in Milan, Illinois.  We were a pretty close knit group so we did a lot of things together --  as a group. We were all friends – some paired off as boyfriend / girlfriend but for the most part, we were just all together. One of the questions in this book is “My First Broken Heart”.  This one was an interesting question and not sure how much I will share here because it wasn’t a boy who broke my heart but rather that my dad insisted that since the boy (we were teenagers) was not a professing Christian, therefore I would not be allowed to even consider ‘dating’ him.  (I do understand but had a problem understanding then since all attended the same church.) We had a comfortable friendship and I do think that I valued that more than anything. I believe that he did make a commitment to Christ sometime later and the sad thing is that he died in the Vietnam War – just three weeks after he arrived there. He was married at the time – to a gal named Lynda … and I remember seeing the video of the funeral with all the military honors. How sad!

Okay … jumping ahead .. believe it or not, the ‘journal’ book doesn’t ask about my first date – but I will share anyway – are you bored yet??? We went to Bishop’s Restaurant in Davenport (or Bettendorf), Iowa. I remember that I actually made a new dress and was so excited to wear it. Bob’s mother went with us and I share below, we were in a Christian School / Bible College setting so we had to have a chaperone with us. (I still have trouble explaining all of this to our girls. J) One of the funny things my mother has shared throughout the years was how much ‘on time’ for dates Bob was. She swore (no, not really ‘swore’) that when the second hand reached the 12 at the minute Bob said he would be there, you would hear the doorbell ring! Since Bob was dating the oldest of six children, I’m not sure how many little brothers he had to wade through before getting to me or us getting out the door. Actually, my brother, Tim, was a friend of Bob’s before I even met him – something they both like to remind me about!

(Commercial Break – I am actually following the book in order of what the topics are – and it seems at times I am going backwards – What’s new, I know!!!)

My first kiss … Believe it or not, that kiss belonged to Bob! Yes, I can remember, it was on a clear, starlit night. We were attending a Bible College and what I’m about to share will seem foreign to most of the younger set! We had to have chaperones go on dates with us – all of the students did so you tried to pick the fun ones since you usually had to take them out to eat with you, too.  So, we had hope that no one saw us kiss!  I’m going to follow “My First Kiss” with another question which sort of relates. “My funniest experience on a date”. Well, we had a ‘one person’ chaperone that night – rather than a couple, it was a married guy whose wife couldn’t come. I won’t tell you his name but his initials are D.F. if any of you from those years are reading this! We enjoyed this guy coming along because he had a tendency to fall asleep and I can imagine all kinds of ideas arising in your minds … no, we were not mis-behaving.  I decided to do something I had not done before and that was to kiss Bob on the cheek – I initiated the action and it shocked him so much he ran off the road!!!! The guy in the back seat shot straight up and was sure we were going to crash!!!! We’ve laughed over that one through the years. Poor guy!!!

Next question … How old I was and what I was doing when I met your grandfather (that being Bob, of course) … Wow, let’s see.  I knew about him prior to meeting him. After all, any girl in Nebraska probably knew about him and seemed to follow him around which I found rather annoying! However, when I was almost 15, I first saw him in the Zayre (that was a store) parking lot in Rock Island, Illinois. I was introduced to him across a couple cars and I felt so special (ha, not really) that I had indeed met THE Bob Bedford that I had heard about at youth camps in Nebraska.  Funny thing, I can’t remember shopping that day – just meeting Bob!! It was in October of 1964! Rachel was only about six weeks old!

Next question .. I was attracted to him because … oh, wow … now how do I answer that one? I had actually thought he was a little odd when I learned he and another gal had taken on a letter writing contest to see who could write the longest letter to each other. He won – 50 pages. What he didn’t know was that that particular letter made its rounds in the girls’ dorm at the 1962 youth camp of the Evangelical Wesleyan Church somewhere in Nebraska .. I’m not sure where it was that year but somewhere near Kearney or Grand Island or Ansley.  Ooops, got to rambling ..  I was attracted to him because … I think for a variety of reasons – 1) He was a very nice good looking guy with a great  personality; 2) He seemed to be well liked and even though that would come back to haunt me a little (gals liked him a lot), I was rather proud of the fact that I was his girlfriend; 3) He was talented musically as well as in speaking / preaching (he still is my favorite speaker); 4) He was fun, a sharp thinker, quick on the comeback and the fact that he had taken the challenge to memorize the dictionary made me think that my parents would think he was quite intelligent … he was and still is; 5) I liked his family and still do – they are a great family and I am blessed with a wonderful mom-in-law – Bob, too, had a great relationship with my mother; 6) He made me feel special!  I knew that he was pretty popular and since I had mastered an inferiority complex well, I was certain that someone else would come along and snatch him up.  But here we are, 43 years later, still together! Bumps along the way, absolutely!!! Tough times, for sure!  Times when we both wondered if we would weather the storms of life! But, fun times – more than I can count! Children – a treasure that we could never have dreamed of!! Vacations that have taken us to every state – most of them with our children in tow. And laughter – lots of laughter!! Just spend a few hours at our house and you will see!  Would I do it all over again … we’ve asked each other that question especially as we have discussed those differences that will be with us until Jesus comes or we go on to heaven … yes, we would, but we would probably do things differently and with much more grace and understanding. Then again, hindsight is always 20/20! As Bob told me early on (and I was rather offended at the time), I have “willed” to love you!! Here I thought that love was an emotion and he was not even tying in emotions. But, I was to learn that the “will” is what carries you through those tough times and it did!

I realize that I have gone on and on and on … and I haven’t even gotten to the proposal and maybe no one wants to know about that – when I shared it with the girls, I think they just shook their heads and thought, “Wow … that’s different ….”  Wish I could say it was on a beach or written in the sky – nothing like that but with a commitment that has obviously stood the test of time …. So, next week, I’ll finish this saga I think … I need to finish Bailey’s book – by Christmas …