What our mothers taught us ...

You may have seen this before -- some I identify with -- others you would never have heard my mother repeating!! Me, maybe! But, definitely not her!

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house."
2. My mother taught me about religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week." (Although my mother would never have said this!)
4. My mother taught me about logic. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going shopping with me."
6. My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear just in case you are in an accident."
7. My mother taught me irony. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the process of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about contortionism. "Will you just look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
10. My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."
13. My mother taught me about the circle of life. "I brought you into this world and if you don't change your behavior, I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about behavior modification. "Stop acting like your father."
15. My mother taught me about envy. "There are millions of less fortunate children who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about anticipation. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about receiving. "Boy, are you going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me about medical science. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me about E.S.P. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me about humor. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me how to become an adult. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me about genetics. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my roots. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me about wisdom. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about justice. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"