In Honor of My Dad on Father's Day!

I have a busy weekend coming up and am afraid I won't get this posted in a timely manner. So, therefore, I am posting it this evening. I know I will have additions -- I always do. I guess in our day, we call it 'post scripts' or P.S. Those were the days! So, I am going to share some of my thoughts about my dad -- coming from his oldest daughter.

I am not sure the first time I really remember my dad. I think as a child, all at once you have memories that include your dad and you just know that he has always been there. My first “real” recollection was my kindergarten graduation and a tradition which had already been started during my parents’ dating years – and continues to this day!! My mother was in the hospital so my dad took me to graduation. I wore a lavender dress of an organza type of fabric and my dad presented me with a corsage in honor of my graduation. An orchid was the primary flower in my corsage. Many years later, I would carry orchids in my wedding and several of the granddaughters incorporate orchids into their planning.

My dad came from a home that was very much ‘across the tracks’. He grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who died when my dad was just 8 years old. Imagine the Mother’s Day after her death when in the school program, my dad was asked to sing the song about Mother’s … “M is for the million things she gave me ….” Not a dry eye in the house, I’m sure. During his teenage years, it was typical for him to go to the bar to bring his father back home. The one bright spot in his life were his siblings. From his oldest sister (who gave birth to her first child just a week after my dad was born) to his little brother, just two years older than him. They became his lifeline. At 83, you will find my dad each night about 10pm (eastern time) on the phone with his sister, Dorothy. She and his brother, Bob, will be coming next week to visit him which will be an awesome treat. My dad’s sister, Florence (Aunt Flo to us!) helped raise my dad. They became a close family and even if we haven’t seen other family members in a while, it’s like no time has passed.

My dad was drafted into the service and after marrying my mother in December 1944, he headed overseas convinced that he would never come home again. He has told us stories of war and how those memories are still vivid in his memory! After the war ended, he toured through Europe with an Army singing chorus until his time was ‘up’ and he came home. God had given him a call to preach so attended Olivet Nazarene (College, at that time) University and became student body president in 1950-51. In 1949, I made my presence known and he became a father. One that I would look up to for the rest of my life. However, since my dad’s health problems have caused him to stoop, I now am taller than he is. But, he is still tall in my mind and in my heart!

At this Father’s Day, I thought I would just write down some of my many memories of my dad in a ‘bullet’ sort of fashion and what makes him special – besides being MY dad! (I better not say ‘bullet’ around my dad – I’m sure it would transport him back to wartime!)

My dad ...

• taught me to ride a bike -- "Look, Dad, no hands!"
• always checked to make sure the sashes on my dresses were neatly tied and that everything matched. He usually added a spit-shine to my face and hair for good measure.
• took us to Long View Park after dinner when we lived on 16th Street in Rock Island. (Supper, as it is known in the midwest!) I loved the underpushes and requested them over and over. Somehow, he never tired of doing that.
• awoke us each morning to his rousing rendition of "Good Morning to You ... We're all in our places with sunshiny faces; And this is the way (hit a high note!) to start a new day."
• introduced us early in life to Mr. Silas Pookenheimer -- a gentleman who seemed to arise from behind billows of shaving cream on my dad's face. We couldn't quite figure out where he lived the rest of the time but we sure lived those visits.
• treated my mother, my sister and me like ture ladies. He always opened the car door for us (and especially for my mom) and taught us that if we were walking with a man on a sidewalk, the man should always walk beside the road for protection.
• spent much time in prayer -- especially with my mother. We had family altar but I always knew they spent special time together with God.
• taught us more grammar lessons than we ever cared to learn about in an entire lifetime. (And don't grade me on this post!!) I think I have learned more about "can and may", "shall and will", "lie and lay", etc., etc. And adverbs -- oh, they were his pet hobby, I think. And my kids -- they still remind me of how I reminded them of adding those "ly's" when it was appropriate to do so!
• listened for our voices during the night. He told my mother early on that the nighttimes were his for the care of the children. She would take care of us during the day and he would all night. There were many nights when I poured out childhood fears to a dad that listened with all his attention. I stood at the top of the stairs many times as a young child - not able to go to sleep and knew that he would never turn a deaf ear. I was just one of six to whom he poured out his love. As a child, I often had leg cramps and I knew that my dad was only a call away .. he would come to massage those cramps away.
• took us on lots of trips that incorporated campmeetings into those travels. I loved the trips for the most part -- except when, on occasion, I was given the task of keeping track of three cute little guys. Did I think they were cute then? Probably not -- maybe a little irritating ... okay, so I did love them ... and still do!
• wasn't terribly concerned if part of our house didn't look exceptionally neat -- as long as the living room did. Where the front door was located! He said as long as the area near the front door was straightened up, we were okay! I remember many times when he would come home and grab a few things on his way through the living room.
• introduced us to Harker's Island campmeetings and we knew we would never again be the same! You have to visit there at least once in your lifetime! There is a whole different culture and you will treasure those days! Of course, my dad thinks part of the reason I treasured those days was that there were a few young men attending, too.
• also poured himself to many, many other young people across the country who came to attend either the Bible Missionary Institute or Francis Asbury Bible College where he served as president. I think one of the sad things now is that he feels that he was too rigid in rules, etc., and wishes he would have done things differently. However, there are many who are still caught up in that mindset who haven’t done as my dad has done – come to each of us personally to say, “I’m sorry.” We have to assure him that we are all okay no matter what the circumstances were. We knew he loved us unconditionally and also loved those young people he served!!
• understood me for the most part. It was quite amusing (and perhaps a little frustrating) when I would go to my mother with some sort of emotional problem I might be facing and about three words into it, she prodded me with, “Can you talk to your dad about this? He understands you so much better than I do.” The tables have now turned – and I understand him so well – better than he ever wants to admit. I have now begun to take on a parental role with him – and in a sense, my heart aches for those years gone by.

Dad still listens ....

The spiritual legacy my dad has given me is my greatest treasure. I don’t remember a time when serving God wasn’t a top priority in my dad’s life. Even though there are times when he questions himself as to whether he has been everything God has wanted him to be and beats himself up for past failures, we haven’t doubted his motives. He has operated out of a heart of love.

My dad is one of the two best preachers in the world according to me (and I know that I am prejudiced!) The other one is, of course, Bob! I remember when my dad would preach and he knew how to incorporate humor into his messages until you would be crying with laughter – and then he came home with the real point of the sermon. It is difficult for him to share now and I’m sure that’s frustrating to him. However, on many evenings, you will find him directing his scooter along the hallways of Glenn Oaks Health Campus (where he calls home) and singing and praying with residents along the way. We assure him that his ministry is not over – not just to his own children but to those he meets every day who needs the message of the gospel!

So, while I know I have not nearly included everything I would like to, I just want to say that I consider myself to be very blessed by having a father such as mine. Happy Father’s Day, Dad!!