Christmas Past! And birthdays present!

My dad was lonely on Christmas this year -- not because family wasn't with him. Several were able to be there and Rachel was with him for Christmas dinner. He wasn't quite up to going to her house so she went to him. What an awesome sister I have!! We are blessed beyond measure. But, this was my dad's second Christmas without my mother. Last year, he really wasn't feeling very well and I think he probably was still somewhat in shock over her passing. This year seemed to be more difficult.

I will never forget when we took the last load out of their apartment as we moved him to his studio apartment. We weren't able to take my mother's "prayer chair" -- where she spent many an hour praying for all of us -- and many friends, as well. He asked if he could have some time alone there and I heard him talking to her -- how do you say "good-bye" to someone who had been his soul mate for well over 60 years? He still has her picture near his bed as a constant reminder of their love. And, of course, all six of us and the many grandchildren are a daily reminder of all that she represented.

Okay ... so back to Christmas past! Perhaps one particular Christmas! My brother, Joel, just celebrated his ....???... birthday ... okay, he doesn't care if I share it. He just turned 50 but he has always insisted that age does not matter! And that is true! He was born on December 21st and it seems that we usually forget his birthday. It just gets lost in the celebration of Christmas. Because of that, I made sure I sent him a card and called him on his birthday this year. I forgot to call all my siblings to remind them -- I'm sure I would have heard, "Yes, Mother" since it was always my mom who called us to remind us. (Which we didn't always take too graciously!)

We talked about his birth and how well I remembered that he came home on Christmas Eve. What a great Christmas present although perhaps we all thought he took the attention away from all of our gifts. No, I don't remember that part of it at all. He was my third brother and by that time, I had resigned myself to not having a sister (although she came along later!) I was 10 years old when Joel arrived and had learned the role of second mom pretty well.

So, I am blessed with Joel as a brother. Joel is different from the rest of us. He doesn't have much to say (imagine that!) But, he is as steady as a rock. You can depend on what he says even though he doesn't say much. His life has not always been easy by any stretch of the imagination. He worked two jobs for many years -- without a complaint. He was an awesome dad to Jacinta and Joel II (who we call Joey ... poor guy!) He loves his three grandchildren and I love to hear the latest stories from him about them. I look at Nyah and see Joel when he was just a little guy.

I mentioned that he doesn't say much ... However, if you can get him into a conversation, you can talk for hours. He is very much into living a healthy lifestyle and especially researches things that he feels would be good for my dad. Over the last couple years of my mother's life, Joel would go to the grocery store for them. My mother would give him a list and there were many times when we knew he paid for the groceries himself. He would check in on them often as his schedule would permit. He continues to do that. Thanks, Joel!

So, Joel ... since we don't always say "Happy Birthday" on the day -- yet I rememebered this year -- I'll say it again. Happy Birthday!! I know you are a 'middle child' but we want to assure you that you are definitely not a forgotten one. We all love you! I thought I'd also include a photo of my dad with the 'four little ones' ... well, the four youngest ones, that is! They get to see him most often and I know he treasures every visit. I'll share a photo of Thad with him in my post tomorrow. Photo: Mark, Rachel, Joel (standing) and Thad.